Southern Hospitality.

Word Bruh.

Goodnight, Ms. America

Isn't it kind of funny how my heart always breaks on balconies?
Isn't it kind of funny how I'm putting this on myself? And we say
Fuck a rhyme scheme bitch, I did it for my own good.
Fuck your shitty attitude, I'm rolling in my own hood.
With my goons and my weed, and my phone, and my keys,
And my wallet's empty. ATM, don't tempt me.
And now we're presenting our thesis on heartbreak,
And I don't understand how much more I can take,
So fuck it. I'm leaving by myself to get high.
I've never been in love but somehow I get by.
Goodnight, Ms. America, I think of you often.
But if I don't leave now, I'll leave in a coffin.
There's nothing that's stopping this march to the grave,
but the women we loved and the music they made.

Isn't it kind of funny, how you're always fucking wrong?

White Rapper Alert: Felly

Check out this album promo from a dude named Felly. It was shot in Montigo Bay, Jamaica.

This is the best promo video I've ever seen a rapper make. I like it because there was only one chick in the whole video, which is pretty much exactly how we do things at the pound. Really relatable material.

The album(???) is called Milk and Sugar, and you can check it out right here.

What's Up, Feminists?

Hey what's up? Can we all just stop throwing terms like "rape apologist" and "misogynist" around so loosely? Those are two really powerful labels, and I believe using them as insults in YouTube arguments not only devalues those words, but trivializes the issues they're attached to. Here's an article that basically sums up my feelings on using words like these in an incorrect or inappropriate context.

http://theenlivenproject.com/5-things-to-consider-before-calling-someone-a-rape-apologist/

Being confused about your body/sexual identity/role in society is nothing to be ashamed of. Obviously, some people have harder circumstances to overcome, but these are the things everybody goes through in their mid/early twenties. You shouldn't feel bad about this stuff. Nor should you attempt to make other people feel bad by accusing them of being horrible people, when really, they're just idiots.

We're all trying to make the world a better place. Don't lose sight of that.

This is a Picture of Tinashe

I'm only putting this here because I don't know how to work my phone properly. It's a long story. Anyways, you're welcome.

In Flight Meals

Man, you ever have one of those moments that really makes you question the fabric of society? A moment where you go "wow, I thought we were past that..." and then disappear to the depths of yr basement to mire in disappointment for the human race? Well I had that experience recently with this whole "sexist WestJet note" thing.

100% Recycled Content.

As a purveyor of internet culture, I've taken great pleasure watching people over-react on everything from actual issues to obvious trolling, but this has gone too far. 

Pro tip, every time you see scripture quoted on a napkin you can pretty much assume whoever wrote the note has a very real mental health issue and needs immediate medical/psychiatric help  wears a tinfoil hat under his trilby and is probably just a massive loser whose opinion has no bearing in reality.

You know that Jay Z lyric: "don't argue with fools/cuz people from a distance can't tell who's who"? Well society, you're arguing with the dude wearing a piss-covered posterboard in the middle of Yonge-Dundas Square. Your parents must be proud.

End of a Year 2013

Yeah, so here's another year end list. Except this one's actually sweet. Blow it out your ass, Stereogum!

Anywho...

Danny Brown

10: Balance and Composure- The Things We Think We're Missing (No Sleep)

Balance and Composure surprises everybody (aka me) by proving they're capable of writing good songs not titled "Quake". Holy shit! Who'da thunk?

Listen to "Tiny Raindrop"

9: Defeater- Letters Home (Bridge 9)

Yeah so Defeater put out a new album this year I guess. The first and last song are wicked bangers and everything else on the album was pretty tight from what I gathered. So yeah, moving along.

Listen to "Bastards"


8: A$AP Rocky- Long.Live.A$AP (ASAP Worldwide)

I thought this was the most ignorant shit I'd ever heard in my life until I heard that A$AP Ferg album. So I guess this is the second most ignorant shit I've ever heard in my life. Cool.

Listen to "Wild for the Night"

7: Nails- Abandon All Life (Southern Lord)

This shit sounds like a heavily intoxicated Lemmy from Motorhead driving a cement truck through a fucking TNT factory. If that isn't a ringing enough endorsement for you, then you're probably soft as shit and you can kiss my ass.

Listen to "God's Cold Hands"

6: Danny Brown- Old (Fool's Gold)

SMOKIN' AND DRINK. DRINKIN' AND SMOKE. SMOKIN' AND DRINK. DRINKIN' AND SMOKE. SMOKIN' AND DRINK. DRINKIN' AND SMOKE. SMOKIN' AND DRINK. DRINKIN' AND SMOKE.

Listen to "Dope Fiend Rental"

Coliseum

5: Kanye West- Yeezus (Roc-A-Fella/Def Jam)

I was gonna be a troll and put this album at number one, but then like six other turdburgling publications beat me to it. I wonder what kind of people thought this shit was "too experimental"? Probably the same people who don't listen to Nails. Fucking posers.

Listen to "I'm In It"

4: Coliseum- Sister Faith (Temporary Residence)

Full disclosure: I don't even like this album half as much as I liked House With a Curse. Yeah, I don't really know what else to put here, other than "this album is still pretty good I guess..." or maybe; "2013 was a mediocre year for music."

Listen to "Doing Time"

3: The Men- New Moon (Sacred Bones)

I don't know why nobody's jocking the shit out of this album, considering how mental people went for Open Your Heart. Oh well. For full enjoyment, I recommend blasting this album while driving 140 km/h through the wasteland between Mississauga and Kitchener in the late winter/early spring.

Listen to "I Saw Her Face"

2: J. Cole- Born Sinner (Dreamville)

Half of this album is kind of dumb, but there are like six songs on it that make me weirdly emotional every time I listen to them. Plus the guy's an insane lyricist, a pretty good producer, and makes hit singles that kick ass. Oh yeah, and if you don't like "Power Trip" you're probably a soul-less reptilian scumbag.

Listen to "Trouble"

Drake

1: Drake- Nothing Was the Same (OVO Sound/Young Money/Cash Money)

What? Wanna fight about it?

Listen to "Wu-Tang Forever"

~ ~ ~

Hon. mention:  A$AP Ferg- Trap Lord, Drug Church- Paul Walker, Mr. Muthafuckin' eXquire- Kismet, Rescuer- With Time Comes the Comfort, Daylight- Jar, Mac Miller- Watching Movies With the Sound Off, Deniro Farrar- The Patriarch vol. 1.

Dope EPs:

Touche Amore/Pianos Become the Teeth- Split
Xerxes- Would You Understand?
Safeplace- Little Terror
Tigers Jaw/Code Orange Kids/Self Defense Family/The World is...- 4-Way Split
Self Defense Family- The Corrections Officer in Me

~ ~ ~

"Boner Jamz 2013" the playlist

Songs Grooveshark didn't have:

Defeater- "Bled Out"
Drug Church- "Attending a Cousin's Birthday Party"
NAH- "Slime People"
Rescuer- "Untitled"
Safeplace- "Little Terror"
Self Defense Family- "Pop Song Written on the Automall"
Weekend Nachos- "You're Not Punk"
Xerxes- "Tramadol"