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"F*** Kevin Durant" - Lil' B.

Thursday, 27 November 2014

Swaggy P Teaches Us How to Mack.

Forever 21 has blessed us with a video of basketball player Nick Young, aka "Swaggy P" or "Iggy Azalea's boyfriend", sharing his tips on chatting up the ladies. The video begins with Young detailing how he courted Iggy by making her his #wcw, which is, oddly enough, how I met my current girlfriend Eugenie Bouchard (not srs). Young then goes on a tangent about vegetables or some shit, before Iggy interrupts him by yelling some indiscernible nonsense from off-camera. The two of them proceed to get in the world's cutest argument, then Young walks off the set while a bunch of people go "awww" and the video ends.

I think that's what happens anyways. TBH I was pretty high when I watched this, and I was more concerned with how a dude named Nick Young got the nickname "Swaggy P" then anything he had to say. Oh well. I'm sure he had some good advice, and I wish these two the best.

Thursday, 20 November 2014

Throwback Thursday- Blink 182 edition

I remember being eight years old and *literally* pissing myself because I thought the lyrics to this song were so funny. 15 years later, they hit a little too close to home. 23 is a weird age. Half the time you're frustrated because you're a deadbeat who partied to much in college, and the other half you're frustrated because you wanna party like you're still in college. At least I haven't pissed myself yet this year.

PS what the actual fuck is going on in this music video?

Wednesday, 12 November 2014

Movie Review: "John Wick"

Everyone knows that Keanu Reeves knows kung-fu, but what else can he do? As the lead role in Chad Stahelski's "John Wick," he does a little bit more than kick ass with his hands. Reeves plays an ex-hitman out for revenge after his dog is killed by Russian mobsters (No, seriously, that's what it's really about). Lots of veteran cast members including John Leguizamo, Willem Dafoe, and the guy who does the Mayhem commercials for Allstate make this movie a step above your average C-list action thriller. Although the beginning is kinda slow, the action picks up relatively quickly and goes strong all the way to the final scene. I wasn't too fond of the development of the characters, as most of the characters remained static throughout the film and there could have been a deeper back story for Keanu's character. Nonetheless, Reeves delivers a dark and ominous performance, which adds a new freshness to what could have easily been a cookie cutter Jason Statham flick. I should note that the soundtrack was excellent, a new Marilyn Manson track never hurts to throw in. Overall, I would have to give this movie the grade of B-. If I learned anything from watching this, it's not to fuck with John Wick.

Movie Review: "Dracula Untold"

Normally, if you tell me there's a movie about Count Dracula coming out, I get pretty excited. But unfortunately, Gary Shores' "Dracula Untold" was just another bunch of shit trying to ride the vampire fad train. The cast wasn't overly recognizable, mostly a bunch of "Oh, that's that dude from that thing that I never saw." The lead actress was kinda hot, so that's a plus, but besides that, this movie had nothing worth watching. The story was supposed to be a rewritten origin story for Vlad the Impaler, but it was just a bunch of cliches thrown together to make something sort of resemble an action flick; old dude who helps grant main character superhuman powers, the bad guy who looks like he just walked out of a greasy New Jersey strip club, and a shitty love story that tried to be relevant to the plot. I was also highly disappointed with the fight scenes. I get the fact that he can regenerate and has crazy strength, but the guy never loses a fucking fight, which really kills it for me. Also, how can you have a film with your lead character named Vlad the IMPALER, but only impales one guy throughout the entire film? Anyways, the movie was a large let down for me, so I have to give it a D grade. If you're into that kind of movie, it might be worth a download, but I assure you, not worth the $10 to see in theaters.

Tuesday, 11 November 2014

Movie Review: "Fury"

Well, it's 2014 and Brad Pitt is back to his old ways: killin' Nazis and looking good doing it. In his new film "Fury", Pitt is a Sargent of a tank crew rolling through Germany. The cast is alright, nothing too spectacular. You got your Shia LeBouf and Michael Pena doing support, as well as Shane from the Walking Dead. The movie is pretty action packed, got a couple of good tank fights, a few quips of comical relief, and a decent storyline. The only problem I had with the movie is the pacing; at one point it was all action and shit, then they stop in a town and start diddy-daddiling around for about 20 minutes. It kinda got stale and I started losing some interest. Also, Pitt's role in the movie was just a more toned down version of his "Inglorious Bastards" role, more serious and not as funny. I would have at least liked to have seen him do something a little bit more original. Overall though, the movie was pretty solid, I'd give it about a B-. And now, here's a video of Taran Killam doing the weather as Brad Pitt:

Detroit Public Schools fail (again)

Earlier this week, Detroit Pistons center Andre Drummond had a run in with some poorly educated jersey manufacturers. His name on his jersey is misspelled, but then again, nobody really cared because the Pistons suck and god hates Detroit.

Sunday, 9 November 2014

Goodnight, Ms. America

Isn't it kind of funny how my heart always breaks on balconies?
Isn't it kind of funny how I'm putting this on myself? And we say
Fuck a rhyme scheme bitch, I did it for my own good.
Fuck your shitty attitude, I'm rolling in my own hood.
With my goons and my weed, and my phone, and my keys,
And my wallet's empty. ATM, don't tempt me.
And now we're presenting our thesis on heartbreak,
And I don't understand how much more I can take,
So fuck it. I'm leaving by myself to get high.
I've never been in love but somehow I get by.
Goodnight, Ms. America, I think of you often.
But if I don't leave now, I'll leave in a coffin.
There's nothing that's stopping this march to the grave,
but the women we loved and the music they made.

Isn't it kind of funny, how you're always fucking wrong?

Tuesday, 4 November 2014

White Rapper Alert: Felly

Check out this album promo from a dude named Felly. It was shot in Montigo Bay, Jamaica.

This is the best promo video I've ever seen a rapper make. I like it because there was only one chick in the whole video, which is pretty much exactly how we do things at the pound. Really relatable material.

The album(???) is called Milk and Sugar, and you can check it out right here.